Category: Joke Board
I especially like the last one.
CHILDREN SAY THE CUTEST THINGS
POLICE #1
While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was
interrupted by a little girl about six years old. Looking up and down at my
uniform, she asked, "Are you a cop?" "Yes," I answered and continued
writing the report. "My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the
police.
Is that right?" "Yes, that's right," I told her.<BR"Well, then,"she said
as she extended her foot toward me, "would you please
tie my shoe?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
POLICE # 2
It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the
station.
As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw
this little boy staring in at me. "Is that a dog you got back there?" he
asked.
"It sure is," I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards
the back of the van. Finally he said, "What'd he do?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ELDERLY
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly
shut-ins, I used to take my four-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds.
She was
unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly
the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of
false teeth
soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of
questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy is never gonna
believe this!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
SCHOOL
A little girl had just finished her first week in the First Grade of
school.
"I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother.
"I can't read, I can't write - and they won't let me talk!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DEATH
While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister
heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently,
his five-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that
proper burial
should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting,
then dug
a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased.
The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with
sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always
said: "Glory be
unto the Faaaather. .and unto the Sonnn . . and into the hole he
gooooes."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
FRECKLES
An elderly woman and her little grandson, whose face was sprinkled with
bright freckles, spent the day at the zoo. Lots of children were waiting in
line to get
their cheeks painted by a local artist who was decorating them with tiger
paws.
"You've got so many freckles, there's no place to paint!" a girl in the
line said to the little fella. Embarrassed, the little boy dropped his head.
His grandmother knelt down next to him. "I love your freckles. When I was
a little girl I always wanted freckles," she said, while tracing her finger
across
the child's cheek. "Freckles are beautiful!"
The boy looked up, "Really?"
"Of course," said the grandmother. "Why just name me one thing that's
more beautiful than freckles."
The little boy thought for a moment, peered intensely into his grandma's
face, and softly whispered, "Wrinkles."
Awe, that last one is soooo sweet.
...Awe.. that is so sweet the one regarding Freckles... *Art Linkletter was quite the Guy wasn't he when it came to kids and their talk
Recently I went camping with a couple of friends and their 2 young children. We were standing in the field and discussing the plan of action.
My friend Phil said, "So what's the plan for tonight then?" his 3 year old daughter pipes up. "We could go inside and have a rest, then come out, eat some berries, be sick on the ground, and then go back in and have a sleep.
I love the fact she understands that eating berries may make her sick, but she doesn't yet understand that one shouldn't eat them because we don't wish to be sick.
Also on the same trip, my guide dog was kicked by a horse for sniffing it's back leg. On seeing this, same 3 year-old, asked if the horse could kick her, and she'd promise not to cry. lol
That's funny BlackBird, and thanks all.
Nice!
Nice!.... buk buk buk...nice :)
I loved the last one! *grin*; how cute *smile*. Loved the second police one too.
Yea, poor poor ol'e li'l doggie...up to no good criminal acts... *!